I heard about this on the radio, & I want to know what you people think.

The Three Questions:

1. What do you live for?

2. What would you die for?

3. What would you kill for?

And, please, please answer truthfully. Don't give me any of that generic bullcrap.

I got this from: [link]

~Organize a bunch of people in one class to emit a low humming noise, keeping straight faces.
~Organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.
~Organize a whole bunch of people to drop their pencils/pens at a preset time.
~Superglue quarters to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up.
~Place chalk inside the erasers so the teachers end up putting big 'ol lines across the blackboard.
~Ask people to hold your hand when going down the stairs
~Type every word in a different font. Alternate really big fonts with really small fonts.
~Cite issues of Spiderman and Batman as resources in your bibliography.
~Draw obscure connections between totally unrelated things.
~Get a large piece of paper or canvas. Smear paint all over it and hand it in as your paper. Explain that the topic was such an emotional one for you, and that mere words couldn't possibly express what you had to say.
~If assigned a 2000-word paper, draw two pictures of what the paper was supposed to be about. After all, a picture is worth 1000 words, right?
~If assigned a paper in philosophy class, explain that you can't do the paper because you're not sure if the class really exists, or if it and the professor are just illusions created by your subconscious. If you do end up writing the paper, write about whether or not the paper actually exists.
~Make your paper one long, neverending sentence that goes on for pages and pages and pages; use alot of semi-colons, commas, and other interesting, rarely-used punctuation marks
~Ol, switch alound arr the l's and r's in youl papel, rike Monty Python did in Queen Erizabeth the Thild.
~On the day the paper is due, skip into class, waving the paper and screaming, "I have a paper! I have a paper!". Run around the class a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, "There's my paper!", then run outside to get it. Repeat this all through the period, or until the prof throws you out.
~Paint a large white stripe down the front of your paper. Say that on the way to class, your dropped it in the street and it got run over by one of those trucks that paint lines on the road.
~Perfume the paper with catnip. Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it.
~Poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the way to class.
~Print all the pages on one sheet of paper, with the text overlapping. Say that that was all the paper you had.
~Put nonsense words down as quotes. Say that you are quoting the words of a well-known Zen master who was speaking in tongues at the time.
~Refer to all prominant historical figures by nicknames. For example, call George Washington "Georgie". Call Ben Franklin "Sparky".
~Refuse to do the paper on account of the fact that you are a member of Greenpeace and strongly object to the gratuitous slaughter of trees caused by the massive amount of paper used in writing assignments.
~Spill a martini on your sociology paper. Say that you wrote it in a bar so that you could see "sociology in action."
Staple a picture of an academic building to the paper. Cite the picture as a resource.
~Switch the names of prominent history figures with the names of your friends, classmates, etc. Claim that your roommate led the Spanish Armada.
~TTyyppee eevveerryy lleetttteerr ttwwiiccee..
~Tell the professor that you need an extension because one of your primary sources is an old wise man in Tibet and he won't see you until the next full moon.
~The night before the paper is due, call the professor and explain that you can't turn your paper in because it contains sensitive military information and is only available on a "need to know" basis. Insist that General Schwarzkopf says you should get an 'A'.
~Turn in a letter you wrote to your cousin. When the teacher confronts you about it, say that you must have gotten the letter and the paper mixed up. Say that you'll turn the paper in as soon as you get it back, but your cousin lives in Siberia, so it might take a while.
~Turn the paper in by making paper airplanes out of the pages of the paper and attempting to fly them onto the professor's desk.
~Type gibberish. When you hand it in, claim that your computer crashed while you were printing it, and you couldn't retrieve the original.
~When writing an especially long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if the professor notices.
~When your prof asks for an outline of your paper, draw the outline of the piece of paper you typed it on and hand it in.
~Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but Van Gogh didn't. Discuss whether Van Gogh would have used nunchakus or katanas.
~Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by sticking them all over the professor's door.
~Write your history paper on parchment, using a quill. Say that you were trying to get the feel for the period.
~Write your paper by cutting out words from magazines and sticking them on the page, ransom-note style.

I got this from: [link]

~Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN...."
~Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using it. If your professor objects, explain that you "can't stand sitting in this pigsty any longer." Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily.
~Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if you have a question, and mumble your question incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper oral hygiene.
~Dispute everything your professor says, no matter how simple. Try to get him/her to "prove" everything to you. Rant and rave about what a big liar your professor is. Yell at students who are taking notes, saying, "Stop writing down all these lies!"
~Draw hearts and flowers on the backs of your papers and tests. Next to them, write things like, "You're the best, even though you suck" and "You're the worst professor in the world, but I still love you."
~Hide somewhere inside the classroom. Wait for your professor to take attendance. Don't come out when he/she calls your name. Halfway through class, jump out and yell, "Just kidding! I'm here! Fooled you again!" Sit down and be quiet for the rest of class.
~Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" or "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.
~Sit way at the back of the room, up against the wall, to get as far away from your professor as possible. While he/she is lecturing, shout out things like, "What!?" and "Speak up! You're mumbling!" If your professor advises you to sit closer to the front, tell him/her you can't because you're scouting the room for "assassins."
~Start asking questions in a fake foreign language. Act like your professor is stupid for not being able to understand you. Get other people in the class to start speaking the fake language too, and have frequent discussions during class. Act like you're really interested in what you're discussing. If your professor tries to interrupt or stop you, act annoyed and motion for him/her to quiet down.
~Wait for your professor to mention a date, and then yell out, "Bingo!" Apologize, and explain that you got confused.
~When you have to write a paper, get it done early and mail it to your professor's house. From then on, don't hand anything in, and blame it on the sluggishness of the U.S. Postal Service.
~When your professor gives you a syllabus, take it home, correct it, give it a grade, and return it to the professor. Demand extra credit.

I got this from: [link]

~Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
~Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.
~Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
~Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator and ask the person next to you to help you study them (get them wrong).
~Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
~Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
~Collect an elevator tax.
~Count down from 100,000 out loud.
~Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball
~Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
~Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave.
~Give religious tracts to each passenger.
~Go into extreme detail explaining how you were trapped in an elevator once for two days.
~Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers who attept to cross you.
~Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
~Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
~Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
~Hum the theme to Jeopardy
~Jump up when the elevator reaches a stop.
~Lean against the button panel.
~Leave a box between the doors.
~Lick gummy bears and stick them to things
~Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
~Make farm noises.
~Meow occasionally.
~Mumble autistically about the possibilities of elevator accidents.
~On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “ plink” at the bottom.
~Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a new passenger enters, start over again.
~Play the harmonica.
~Pray to Budda.
~Preach about the end of the world.
~Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers
~Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
~Say "Ding!" at each floor.
~Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
~Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
~Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
~Sing: "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerve's, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, i know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and it goes like this!" to the tune of "camp town lady".....pause.....repeat....continually.
~Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
~Start a sing-along.
~Start reciting "Green Eggs and Ham" and ask people what comes next.
~Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
~Tell everyone about your love life.
~Try to purchase an article of clothing from the person next to you.
~Walk in circles. Change directions when you hit a passenger.
~Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
~Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
~When the elevator doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they’ll open again.”
~When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
~Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.

I got this from: [link]

~Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
~Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
~Constantly wink at a person you don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.
~Wait by the door for others to walk out, then make a dinging noise and say mechanically "We're sorry. You have activated the Wal Mart inventory control service. Please step back and a Wal Mart associate will help you. Thank you."
~Find a parent with her kid in the shopping cart. Point at the kid and ask the parent, "What aisle are they selling these on?"
~Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
~Gather a bunch of bouncy balls and bounce them into neighboring aisles.
~Go up to a guy and start crying saying I finally found you mommy!
~Go up to someone and start taking items from their basket and put them into yours.
~Grab handfulls of super bounce balls and go wild.
~Hold indoor shopping cart races.
~Joust with the electronic assist carts and wrapping paper
~Make the entire auto department smell by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
~Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
~Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
~Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
~Play with the automatic doors.
~Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
~"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
~Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
~Repeat whatever the store clerk tells you.
~Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
~Roll cans of soup down the aisles.
~Run up to a complete stranger and say "You're it!"
~Sample all the fragrances in the perfume department.
~Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
~Switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the restroom.
~Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
~Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
~Throw as many shoes as possible onto the floor in as little time as you can.
~TP as much of the store as possible.
~Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
~Walk about 10 centimeters in front of a moving shopping cart and yell "Its gonna get me!"
~Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
~When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
~When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.